“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” — Mark Twain
If a group‘s spirit is not made of individual human beings, it is made of its own – and it is not human and has not the qualities of human conscience and consciousness!
If a group does not have a common goal, it finds a common enemy. It needs it to survive and to keep the group spirit up and running.
You can judge a group by how it treats and looks at completely different individuals, and those who can do nothing for its survival. This applies especially, and mostly, to individuals. How does it treat individuals of the opposite group? How does it treat those who belong to no group?
“In the collective, one is robbed of one’s roots.” — Carl Jung
If the common enemy becomes stronger than the common goal, than this enemy has to becomes the rebel. And it does not matter if he is formally part of the group or an outside entity or even just a principal. If he stays or has to stay within the group, this is when things become dangerous. If the participants of a group do not find their own indvidualism within the group’s dynamic, and the group itself does not appreciate it, then the group and the rebel are fighting against each other. And only one will survive then. If the rebel survives, the group goes extinct. Leaving a whole group of lost individuals with no own identity. If they can‘t make peace with their loss, other coping mechanisms will replace the old group. Only if they can make peace with their loss, and their own individualism, they will finally prosper. And if the rebel had in fact a truely honest interest in individuals, both make peace with each other. Not the group with the individual, but the individual with the individual. Besides of that, nothing exists anyways.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
What is the solution to all of this? I think it is ruthless individualism. Absolute non-acceptance of any unhealthy group behavior which does not have a higher goal as its true purpose. And this higher goal is the individuals best interest. It can ONLY be measured in the prosperity of the individual.
If a group does not serve individual souls, nature, love, and God – what does it serve? Why does it exist? Who keeps it alive and why?
What can we do if we are or have to be in group environments?
- Always make sure that the group, and your purpose within the group, is also serving your higher purpose. And this should ultimately be to the beneift of all – not only the group.
- Never allow yourself or anyone else to become the victim. If you can not solve the situation, leave the group. Be ruthless with any behavior that goes against an individual. If it does, it serves no one.
No group should ever go against the prosperity, the dignity and the sovereignty of any individual – no matter how holy the group thinks it is. No matter who founded it. No matter what is practiced. No matter how much love it thinks it spreads, and what the official purpose of the group is.
“Your own Self-realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” — Ramana Maharshi
Especially participants in groups and environments with a strong purpose towards humanity have to be careful to not get hit by their own neglected shadow. The supposed purpose of goodwill can work like a blindshield. If it is used without ever questioning its impact, it becomes dangerous.
Groups and false identities can lurk in any corner, and any individual has to stay vigilant not to get dragged unconsciously into its own group dynamic.
“Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.” — Oscar Wilde
Be aware of not unconsciously forming a group as a disappointed or hurt individual of a group. The „victims of narcissists“, „the neglected individuals“, „the strong and peaceful individuals“, finally finding relieve amongst each other – and form their own group without even being aware of it. Always be aware of your individual sovereignty, and even of those who went against you.
“Do not become a follower. Discover.” — Osho
Being completely drawn and identified with a group is no fun and a very sad thing. It shows a lack of conscience, sovereignty and true connection with ones self.
The „smirk of separation“ of a „friend“
Related to groups, I have found another phenomenon that took me quiet a while and many painful experiences to actually recognize a pattern.
“Groups tend to bring out the lowest common denominator in individuals.”— Carl Jung
There is a specific smirk I found in a few variations, and especially in groups. Mostly by people you know or had around you for a bit already. Usually it happens in a situation when you are not at your optimal condition or have done an action or reaction that was like a break in character. It happens when you show stress, nerviosity, fear, or a behavior that came from a lower version of you. Mostly these „friends“ are like bystanders, or somewhat out of the frame of the situation. Or at least they themselves in this way. But it doesn‘t have to be a stranger, it even can be a very close person.
“In the crowd, man loses himself.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
Then suddenly there is a slight smile or smirk, after they have noticed your situation, condition or action. Sometimes even while you are seeing them. This smirk is not to you or for you, but to and for themselves or to signal to others that they do not belong to you. And this is exactly the point. It is not a smile of goodwill, but a smile of self satisfaction and rejection of your being. All while you are in a state that is not at all satisfactory for you. It is as if they had just their quick fix of something they had just waited for, consciously or unconsciously.
This is not the same as when a friend laughs at you when you accidentally slip into the river for example. This is very different and a lightheared mutually shared kind of amusement, even though you don‘t find it funny in that moment.
“There is something mean in human nature that prefers to see others fail.” — Bertrand Russell
The „smirk or separation“ oftentimes comes from a person you had already seen with a bit of scepticism around you. Of not being sure about their friendliness towards you. Sometimes it comes from people you had just briefly around you. Sometimes even from family members. But never from someone who has shown a true sympathy towards you or a compassionate heart generally to other people.
A person who cares about you does not find joy to see you low or loosing. Not even in the slightest. They suffer with you, in one way or the other, or help you get your candle lit again, even in subtle or unconscious ways.
“When a man laughs at your misfortune, he is laughing at his own fear.” — Seneca
I have met many people in my life. Some of them were great compassionate masters, and servants of humanity. People who have dedicated their lives to serve others in the deepest ways. People who have worked on themselves to an extend most of us can not even imagine. People who can smile in many ways, and can find joy in many things. But never have I seen this type of smile or joy in those people and situations.
Be very careful around someone who finds joy in seeing you low. Or who finds joy in observing a stressful situation. Even if it is just in the slightest form. It says a lot about a person to light up when someone else‘s light goes low.
Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, love is lacking.”— Carl Jung
Where unconsciousness, competition and affiliation rules, this type of behavior is of course not far. One variation of this smirk can be seen especially in group behavior and group environments. The group itself does not have to be a defined one. It can happen just with and in a random crowd. It does not surprise that this type of personality can be found especially in groups. Sometimes to have a sense of superiority, of happiness to be not in that situation, of ridicule, of a subtle sign towards others that you do not belong to this person in that situation, or as a form of connection seeking with others you see on a pedestal in a way..
“An honest enemy is better than a false friend.” — German proverb
In any case and with anyone who shows this type of smirk and satisfaction, very clear and strict boundaries are necessary. The love and care you share with them are fully and only on your terms, never on theirs. Be friendly and respectful, but never expect or work towards an intimate or closer relationship with them. Never hope for it. It will work against you at some point and in some way. A person who has proven her or himself to find joy in seeing you low, has a long way to go to be trustworthy again. And it should not be of your concern if this will ever happen. If it is a family member, better love them from afar.
Seeing the smirk as it is, shows how unfruitful it is to try to appeal to everyone, and please people just randomly or generally. Many people have already something like a built in rejection towards you, and they rejoice from seeing you below them. So we can ask, what do the masters do? They still serve everyone. But what do they also have: Strict boundaries, and a rock hard personal practice. Both support each other. The boundaries keep the practice clean, and the practice supports keeping the boundaries intact. And I think this is the best way to deal with everything and this world – practice and keep your practice and life clean of everything that does not support it.
“The individual and God are one”-Swami Lakshmanjoo
